Mocking the World since 2003

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

We've Moved! 

Standard Deviance had a good 6 month run with Blogger on Blogspot, but it's time to move on to greener pastures. The url for the new-and-improved Standard Deviance is
and the new RSS feed is

You should be redirected right ... about ...now.


Monday, July 05, 2004

On Holiday 

Standard Deviance is on holiday today in a land where the internet is slow and the air is clean. Can you beleive such places still exist?

Be back tomorrow. See you then.


Friday, July 02, 2004

Media Screws up Blog Coverage 

There were several blog stories out there in the media today, and each and every one of them has amusing errors. ClickZ news had a report on Gawker today with the headline "Rumor: Gawker to Bow Travel, Gaming Blogs". ClickZ news cited Steve Rubel as the source of the inside information saying "Denton's plan was initially reported by public relations exec Steve Rubel in his own blog, Micropersuasion." Hmm. While we haven't heard anything about the shocking news that Nick Denton is going to complete the trifecta of porn, gadgets, and video games with a video game blog, we do recall hearing about this travel blog some time ago, certainly before Rubel "initially" posted the information yesterday. Hmm. Where could it be?
As seen on NickDenton.org November 19, 2003:

I'm scouting for editorial talent. Particularly people who can write wittily about travel and furniture. If you have a blog on either subject, or know of a good writer, email me.
Thanks ClickZ for breaking that story.

Additionally CBS Marketwatch had a story on blogging, the cottage industry. Obviously their fact/spell checker was on vacation this week:
Software makers are tapping into the growth, including Google, which is set to go public later this year. The search giant bought Eblogger two years ago. Other popular blog software makers include Livejournal.com and Moveabletype.com.
Google bought Blogger two years ago, not eblogger and it's spelled MovableType.org not MoveableType.com. Again, we hate to burst the eager journalists bubble, but perhaps Marketwatch should research their topic before publishing an article. Just an idea.

Those Crazy Iraqis! 

Following the handover of Iraq this week, the Iraq embassy in Washington D.C. raised its flag for the first time since 1990. However discord remained when the Iraqi diplomats raised the traditional Iraq flag instead of the new flag chosen by the Coalition Provisional Authority. The Iraqi people have not warmed to the new flag. How odd. I wonder why.

Maybe because...
It was selected by the US.
Iraqi people have no say in it.
The designer, although Iraqi, lives in Britain.
All the other Arab league flags include black and red except Djibouti and Somalia.
It bears no resemblance to the old flag.
It looks a lot like this:

Nah, they raised the old flag because they're difficult. Don't they want democracy?!?

Iraqi Flag Raised Over Washington Embassy [AP]
Flap over new Iraq flag [AP]
New Iraq flag: Designer speaks out [CNN]


Thursday, July 01, 2004

File this in the Obsessive-Compulsive Category. 

Our friends over at New Yorkish have been following the ever-extending empire of Gothamist King and Queen Jake Dobkin and Jen Chung. So far Gothamist has launched Chicagoist, and have announced plans for LAist. New Yorkish discovered that Jake has registered more -ist domain names, including Bostonist and DCist. After reading New Yorkish's findings, we decided to do some investigative journalism (or cyberstalking) of our own. We searched the -ist domain names for the 50 largest US cities and found that in addition to -ist sites listed above, Jake has registered Denverist, Phillyist, and SFist. We also searched select international cities and found Torontoist and HongKongist. The Dobkin Empire has yet to register Tokyoist, and Londonist is taken by someone else.

We here at Standard Deviance have been mulling it over and we've decided we need to start our own empire of niche blogs. We've chosen a topic we have a lot of experience in: Mocking Nano Publishers. We're rolling out Calacanisist next month and following that we'll launch Dentonist, with Dobkinist coming out in 2005.


Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Saddam Tranfer Complete 

The US has turned Saddam Hussein over to the Iraqi government, who will try him for human rights abuses. Due to the lack of appropriate facilities run by the Iraqis, Hussein will be held in an American jail, guarded by American soldiers. This reminds me of something...

Flashback! Dulledo Dulledo Dulledo
The music of Taylor Dayne fills the room. Throngs of children run about wearing birthday hats and blowing kazoos. An interesting interaction occurs between a small blond child named Casey and a young Standard Deviance.

SD: Casey, thanks for the doll you gave me for my birthday. She's really pretty.
Casey: I'm leaving now. Give me the doll.
SD: Why, you gave her to me for my birthday?!? Indian Giver!! (Ed note: sorry, we weren't PC in the 80s)
Casey: You don't have any of the right stuff. You need to get her dresses and have a bed for her, all that kind of stuff.
SD: But she's mine!
Casey: I'll give her back once you get a bed for her and everything.

SD cries and drops her crown in her birthday cake.
Dulledo Dulledo Dulledo Dulledo

I never did get that doll back. Damn Indian giver (Ed note: sorry, I'm still not PC).

Iraqis Given Legal Custody of Saddam [AP]

Harry Potter Title Revealed! 

J.K. Rowling has announced the title of the upcoming sixth book in the Harry Potter series: "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince". Standard Deviance found this title a little less than compelling, and given our vast expertise in all things book marketing, we've developed some alternate titles for Ms. Rowling.

"Harry Potter and the Bastard Magnate"
"Harry Potter and the Royal Family's Mulatto Embarrassment"
"Harry Potter and the Biracial Baron"

They jump out at you, don't they?

Rowling Announces Title of Potter Book [AP]


Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Tuesday Morning Linkage 

  • The Official Chart Company, in partnership with Coca-Cola is launching the world's first music chart to follow online music sales. The chart will aggregate data from the three largest UK download services, www.mycokemusic.com, Napster and iTunes. Silly Brits, they actually download legally. How quaint. [NME]
  • That ole' man is likely spinning in his grave so fast that he's drilled down to bedrock: A court has ruled that Strom Thurman's illegitimate biracial daughter's name must be engraved on a monument to the Senator along with his other children's names. Spin, baby, spin. [AP]
  • Starbucks to launch Frappucino Light. In related news, McDonalds has released a light version of their Big Mac that is only 1,000,000,000,000 calories. I can stop doing Atkins now! [Reuters]

Two of a Kind 

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton became the proud parents of a baby boy on Saturday night. Since the two of them are, ahem, how shall we say, interesting looking, we've been devoting a lot of thought to what their child might look like. After using advanced imaging techniques, including bone structure analysis and the study of familial characteristics, we believe we have created a fairly accurate composite:

Bonham Carter, Burton Have Baby Boy [AP]

UPDATE: Ananova is reporting that Bonham Carter gave birth to her son back in October and that she is "baffled" by the reports in the US that she gave birth on Saturday. Nicki Van Gelder, Bonham Carter's agent, was the reported source for the incorrect AP article. Her representatives are now clarifying that "The only child she gave birth to was in October, 2003." Despite the confusion, one thing is clear: Nicki Van Gelder's ass is fired.

Bonham Carter perplexed at 'birth' stories [Ananova]


Monday, June 28, 2004

Speak Softly and Post on the Internet 

The UK's Observer ran a piece this weekend on the effects blogs can have on customer service. The article details how customer complaints can, when posted to the web, have a much larger effect on sales than the regular whining in the corner pub. One online consultant was quoted as saying "It's better to spend some money on dealing with one person, than risk a complaint going viral and damaging the value of the brand in the long term." Hmmm. Additionally the article described the efforts put into branding: "A brand invariably embodies a set of ideals its makers hope customers will share. But when those ideals are at odds with a customer's experience or awareness of the company's conduct, reputations can be dented. Understandably, brands are at pains to avoid this." Hmmmm. So if you are not getting any responses from customer service, going to the web is the best way to bring attention to your plight. Well, there is obviously only one thing to be done:

Blogger power to the people [Guardian]

Handover Complete! 

The United States handed over sovereignty to the interim Iraq government today, two days earlier than planned. The surprise small ceremony was moved up to thwart any attacks planned by insurgents. Interim Prime Minister Iyad Allawi said "We feel we are capable of controlling the security situation." Following the ceremony Paul Bremer, the US envoy to Iraq, boarded a plane and left the country.

Um, it seems to me that if ceremonies are being moved stealth-like to avoid attacks, US administrators are running for the first plane out of the country, and guerrillas are seizing foreign hostages and threatening to behead all of them, then perhaps this is not be the best time for a transfer of power. But maybe that's just me.

Handover Completed Early to Thwart Attacks, Officials Say [NYT]
Iraq Formally Returns to Self-Rule Two Days Early [Reuters]

A Message from the Staff 

Good news! The internet at SD headquarters is finally up and running so content should be back to normal for the foreseeable future. Granted Verizon had the gall to send me an internet bill for the last month even though I didn't have any service, but what else can you expect. Verizon Sucks! Hurrah! They have a monopoly, so there's not too much I can do about it. Yay capitalism!

Oh, by the way, Verizon also is holding my webspace hostage, which is why many of the older posts no longer have photos. I'm sorry, but again, Verizon sucks.

Buckle your seatbelts because I have a lot of mocking to do.


Friday, June 25, 2004

Bill Gates Blogs 

The Seattle Times is reporting that Bill Gates may start up his own personal blog. Techies everywhere are salivating at the idea of reading every genius thought Gates has. We here at Standard Deviance have conducted an investigation into the issue and we have discovered that not only has Bill Gates already started a secret blog, but he also has an irrational attachment to cheese. Perhaps the next version of Windows will be Windows PJ, with the PJ standing for Pepper Jack.

This reminds us: Why has Andy Kaufman stopped blogging? Of course, not blogging is the new black.

Bill Gates could join the ranks of bloggers [Seattle Times]


Thursday, June 24, 2004

A Message from the Staff 

SD headquarters is still without highspeed internet. We've been told that it will be up in 2-4 business days, but Verizon has told us that before so we don't really believe them. We are hoping and praying it will be back up soon, but cannot make any promises. Next time this happens we'll get a guest blogger. Really.

Anyone want Gmail? We have a ton of invitations.


Wednesday, June 23, 2004

When You're Sliding Into First and you Feel Like You're Gonna Burst 

The new Pepto Bismol commercial is easily the grossest commercial we've seen since that Lamisil ad. Five people of assorted shapes and sizes act out the ailments that Pepto Bismol can cure by doing a dance reminiscent of the Macarena. For nausea they hold their noses, for upset stomach they hold their tummies, and for diarrhea, you guessed it, they grab their asses as if they are trying to keep that stinky diarrhea turd inside. So gross. And as if once of this bowel ballet isn't enough, they turn and do the dance again (as you would in the Electric Slide). At one point their backs are to the camera as they dance. A question for Pepto Bismol: If you are trying realistically show the conditions Pepto Bismol can treat, why not give each of your dancers skidmarks that show through their pants? There's nothing that makes consumers love a product like a streak of poo.

Pepto Dance Video [Visit4Info]


Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Streakers as Billboards, Part II 

Loyal readers may remember SD's coverage of streakers being used as billboards. The imaginative folks at GoldenPalace.com, an online casino, pays streakers across the globe to run naked through sporting events while wearing the words Golden Palace.com written across their chests. The best known example of this was Mark Roberts' streak during this year's Super Bowl (not to be confused with Ms. Jackson's revelation). Mr. Roberts was arraigned yesterday in Houston for trespassing during the Super Bowl. He is facing up to six months in jail and a $2000 fine. However we think Judge Diane Bull may be easy on him given she said "I'm going to tell you this will really be a fun case." Your Honor, maybe you haven't heard, but we take public nudity seriously in this country. And swearing. And juvenile radio shows. And violations of the Geneva Convention. Ha ha! Just kidding, of course we don't take the Geneva Convention seriously. We're such kidders.

Super Bowl streaker goes to trial [CNN]


Friday, June 18, 2004

Technology in the News 

There's a great article today in the New York Times about this new crazy thing people are doing to buy sports and theatre tickets: Going Online. It seems there are several places online with humorous names like StubHub and eBay where you can buy tickets. StubHub is particularly interesting in that it's not online ticket service, it's a place where people with tickets can sell to other people who want tickets. So it appears you can actually buy and sell things online. Fascinating. The writer of this story managed to procure Yankee tickets from this StubHub place for face value just days before the game, thus good deals can be found in these online venues. We really must try this soon.

Also, the weblogs.com scandal has hit the mainstream media. Dave Winer disconnected all of the weblogs.com blogs this week because it was too difficult to keep them running, and the disconnected bloggers were not happy. Yet another story about those crazy crazy bloggers. These online journal keepers seemed to be positively livid that their little diaries were taken offline. We can't understand why given that blogging is really a sad pathetic activity anyway. It must be draining for poor Dave Winer to deal with such crazed fanatics on a daily basis.

That Invisible Hand Guides the Game of Ticket Hunting [NYT]
Blogger Criticized for Pulling Service [AP]


Wednesday, June 16, 2004

A Message from the Staff 

Hello Readers! I suspect that many of you believe that I enjoyed my disconnection from the internet during my move a little too much and as a result I have now gone on hiatus from Standard Deviance. Not true! My DSL is still not set up. I had a little blow out with Verizon yesterday and it appears that everything that could have gone wrong with my transfer did go wrong, and now it will still be several more days until I am connected. In the meantime I am looking into cable internet and doing my best to keep Standard Deviance chugging along, but it's not going very well. So hang in there just a little bit longer and I'll return with the spit and venom you're all accustomed too.

As a reward for putting up with me during this time of turmoil, I would like to offer my loyal readers a prize: a Gmail account. Being the D list blogger that I am I got on the Gmail boat a while ago (it's quite nice, actually), and now I've been given some more invitations to share with you all. It seems I have two invitations available right now so the first two lucky people who leave comments get the accounts. It's true, Gmail will probably be open to the public in a matter of weeks, but no matter, you can gloat to all your friends that you got in on the ground floor!


Tuesday, June 15, 2004

How to Know When You're Ridiculously Rich, #12 

If, while wearing a dinner jacket and bow tie, you drive a convertible sports car/boat across the English Channel in order to break the world record for crossing the Channel in an amphibious vehicle, you are most likely ridiculously rich.


Monday, June 14, 2004

i'm from brooklyn kid... we don't say sh!t about people's mothers/wives 

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