You thought you had all the alerts straight: Amber Alert, Orange Alert, Nerd Alert. But now, those crafty fellas at the Federal Bureau of Investigation have come up with another one: Almanac Alert!!
The FBI has informed police departments all over the nation to watch out for individuals carrying Almanacs, especially ones "annotated in suspicious ways", says Newsday. Well, it looks like my cousin Douglas is in a world of trouble. My mother, or Aunt Al-Qaida as we like to call her, gave the 14 year-old an Almanac for Christmas. With Douglas equipped with information such as how much a llama weighs, no one is safe. And I am fairly sure I saw him write his name in it. Suspicious annotation!!