Mocking the World since 2003

Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Snake Eyes Baby! 

Mark Geragos, Scott Peterson's lawyer, accused one of the jurors of purposefully lying in order to be selected for the trial. The juror in question is an elderly woman described as wearing fucia pants and a flowered shirt and carrying a romance novel. The woman supposedly bragged that she "passed the test" for the jury while on a bus trip to Reno, Nevada.

On the trip the juror also pulled her Harrah's VIP card out of her fanny pack and bragged to her friends that once she got on Larry King she would definitely get the Skyline jacuzzi suite comped.

Defense accuses retiree of lying to get on Peterson jury [AP]

I Have to Move to D.C. 

Residents and merchants are already pleased at the doubling in property values [around Atlantic Avenue] in a decade - brownstones sell between $1 million and $2 million - and an arena and pier may make the neighborhood even pricier. [NYT]

The Taxi and Limousine Commission approved a 26 percent increase in cab fares, raising the base fare to $2.50 from $2, and the charge for each fifth of a mile to 40 cents from 30 cents. [NYT]

The average price for a Gotham apartment was a staggering $872,160 last year - up 93.8 percent from the 1994 average of $450,084. [NYP]


Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Bullet Points are the New Black 

A Service for Your President 

George Bush has come under fire for the jokes he made about the above photo at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association dinner this year. Standard Deviance would like to help take some of the heat off our President, so we're providing suggesions for new captions. So far we have"I gots to tinkle, Laura!" and "Rummy, is my face turning red yet?"

Anyone else have ideas? It's for your country!


Monday, March 29, 2004

Adriana to Be a Tribbiani? 

Drea De Matteo, of "The Sopranos" fame, will play Joey Tribbiani's sister, Gina, on the Friend's spinoff "Joey". Says the Hollywood Reporter:
Her new gig on "Joey" will not interfere with her contractual obligations to the 10-episode sixth and final season of David Chase's hit series, sources said.
Perhaps the reason there will be no interference is that Adriana will be whacked sometime soon. Big Pussy only lasted 2 seasons as an FBI informant, and this is Adriana's second season ratting. Developing...

How You Doin'? De Matteo Set as 'Joey' Sister [Hollywood Reporter]

Related Posts:
New Jersey: The Whack-Me State

Streakers as Billboards? 

This weekend a streaker managed to skate onto the ice at the World Figure Skating Championships. Ron Bensimhon, 30, from Montreal, moved across the ice in a tutu with the words GoldenPalace.com written across his chest. Golden Palace is the gambling website behind the Super Bowl sprint made by world famous streaker Mark Roberts. This weekend's incident appears to be the twelfth streaker the website has used for marketing purposes. Standard Deviance has to wonder whether advertised streaking actually results in higher sales. Surely it gets the website a lot of free press (including this post), but will people who see some naked guy running across a field really think "Hmmm, I really want to gamble online"? Well, either way it is funny. Mr. Bensimhon looks fabulous in his polka-dot tights.

Je Suis un Arrogant Asshole 

Agence France-Presse reported last week that Clotaire Rapaille, a French born "medical anthropologist", has diagnosed John Kerry as being "too French" for the American public. Given that English is not Monsieur Rapaille's native language and that Standard Deviance is "proficient" in French, below you can find a translation of his franglish.

The French are thinkers -- 'I think, therefore I am'. Americans want somebody who is going to take action. All this association of Kerry with thinking too much and nuance and five-sentence answers is off-code.

The French are very smart. Since the beginning of civilization we have lead the world in literature, art, any number of fields. Every other country, especially the United States, is far inferior to France. John Kerry is far too intelligent for American simpletons. My advice for Mr. Kerry is to use primarily monosyllabic words.

American culture is an adolescent culture... In America, you have to be the common man, be able to make people think you are the common man.

Most Americans' brains do not develop past the age of 12. The best way to communicate with this country is to use monkey grunts and belching noises. Also, if Mr. Kerry could possibly conjugate his verbs incorrectly, that would improve matters immensely.

Go to K-Mart, buy jeans and cowboy boots... Dress like you are going into a bar in Kansas to drink from the bottle.

I spit on you Americans! You are disgusting pigs who can only relate to jeans-wearing, Budweiser drinking, K-Mart shopping inbreds. You cannot even appreciate a fine specimen of culture and upbringing like Monsieur Kerry. Allez bouffer votre merde!

Kerry too 'French' to sway 'adolescent' Americans: consultant [AFP]


Sunday, March 28, 2004

What Have I Done For You Lately 


Saturday, March 27, 2004

Republicans Have Cooties! 

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Sharpton On Over! Wheeeeeee! FUN!

Clinton, Carter, Gore Show Unity for Kerry [Reuters]


Friday, March 26, 2004

That's It. We're Going Out. 

Standard Deviance just had a staff meeting. It went something like this:

Ellen: Why don't I know any other bloggers?
Ellen: All of my friends are getting sick of my babbling about blogging.
Ellen: This is boring. I need some blog friends.
Silence nods and agrees.

So that's it. Any bloggers out there in New York City want to meet up and talk trackback? And by talk trackback I mean get sloshed (I'm talking to you NITBC). You know you want to.

Confess All Your Sins 

A Texas man confessed to the murder of his pregnant girlfriend after watching "The Passion of the Christ". Dan Leach, 21, said that seeing the movie and speaking with his friend about it made him feel remorse, and thus he turned himself into the police. The police initially released him but he has since been arrested and is being held on $100,000 bail.

In related news, Angela Brewster of Hayward, Wisconsin confessed to her priest that she is really a zombie, stalking endlessly in a constant quest to feed on the flesh and blood of the living after seeing "The Dawn of the Dead". Angela was released by her priest and instructed to say 5 Hail Marys and to drive a steak through her heart.

Christ Movie Moves Man to Confess Murder [AP]

Don't Leave, Lennie! 

It can't be! Detective Lennie Briscoe, also known as Jerry Orbach, may leave the original "Law & Order" to create a spinoff called "Law & Order: Trial by Jury." Detective Lennie Briscoe has been cleaning up the scum of New York City for 12 years. I remember when his daughter was killed by a drug dealer. It was very sad. I remember when the defense said he was part of a "Jewish conspiracy" to frame an anti-semite. The boy on trial was convicted. I remember when he was paired up with Mr. Big and was concerned with getting killed because Chris Noth had already lost two partners. In the end they were great friends. So many good times with Briscoe.

How can they take my favorite character out of the show? You don't make a spinoff with a main character, you make it with a small character, like that new blond lawyer. Dammit, Dick Wolf, don't mess with magic! Pretty soon you're going to end up like CSI.

Report: Orbach may leave 'Law & Order' [CNN]
Gothamist's Photos from the "Law & Order" Set


Thursday, March 25, 2004


Hello loyal readers. Terribly sorry that I've left you in the lurch today but I've been very busy. Hopefully I'll manage to post something in a few hours. Until then, feel free to check out the links to the right.


Wednesday, March 24, 2004

How Does She Do It? 

Truly amazing. Eurotrash managed to write a hilarious and disdaining wrap up of The O.C. even an O.C. lovah like myself could appreciate. But what's more impressive, she posted it at 10:19 pm. Okay everyone, let's do the math: The O.C. airs from 9pm to 10pm. I know ET lives in Hoboken, so no time-difference cheating here. Sure, she had commercial breaks, but she even chronicled those, giving minimal opportunities during the show to compose the post. Assuming very little chance of time-travel or magic, Ms. Trash managed to completely finish a detailed and witty wrap up of The O.C. in 19 minutes.

During the 19 minutes following The O.C. I made myself a snack (Skippy Superchunk and a banana) and I opened up a Sam Adams Light. I thought about cleaning or doing the dishes, but then I heard Law & Order call my name. Who cares if I didn't write a fabulous post - that peanut butter & banana was good.

I just looked at my clock. It has taken me 24 minutes to write this little pathetic excuse for a post. Goddammit! Must take speed writing course. Right after I have another peanut butter & banana.

Sometimes It's So Easy I'm Ashamed of Myself 

Ryan Seacrest Supports Banned Students [AP]

Six middle school boys who were banned from a class portrait for refusing to cover up their pink T-shirts have gained the support of fashionable "American Idol" host Ryan Seacrest.

Ha ha aha , Ryan Seacrest fashionable? Hello, blond tips were soooo 4 years ago and even then they were lame.

Ensign Middle School principal Edward Wong pulled the boys from their eighth grade class portrait last week because he feared the color could be associated with gang-affiliated "dance crews," which hold all-night dance contests and raves.

"Dance Crews" are very dangerous. The children might pull a muscle dancing. Also, remember West Side Story? Didn't someone die in that or something? Wait, that was a musical and not real life? Well....whatever, dance crews are dangerous!

The boys denied being crew members and said they wore the shirts, which students described as "Easter pink," to stand out in the photo.

I remember when I was 14, the boys often wore pastels to stand out. I knew this one guy who really wanted to stand out, so he wore a dress to school. And he did stand out. And then the jocks beat him up.

Seacrest, who also hosts the TV show "On-Air with Ryan Seacrest" and the radio countdown "American Top 40," said Tuesday he got involved because a student was quoted in a local newspaper as saying pink was popular among teens because Seacrest often wore it.

My God, what is happening to the children of America? It is bad enough that they witness the vulgarity and violence on MTV. But now, with programs like American Idol, the children are so exposed to bad fashion that they actually try and imitate it. That is just irresponsible.

"I'm standing up and saying it's OK to stand out because I am the 'Pink Piper,'" Seacrest told a caller.

For several years Ryan Seacrest has been trying to adopt the nickname "Pink Diddy" but it has yet to catch on.

Gowanus = Naboo? 

Browsing around the net (specifically Gothamist) Standard Deviance found a great site:The South Brooklyn Network. As SD headquarters is located in South Brooklyn, this website will likely be particularly useful. I am especially fond of the South Brooklyn merchandise, including the sweatshirts and bags. However, I was a bit disturbed when I saw the sweatshirt model:

Does he remind you of another mysterious hooded man?

Feel the force, take the cannoli.


This is why Standard Deviance will often not weigh in on the blog world's popular topic of the day.

As Seen on Cup of Chica:
can't procastinate procastination

One of the largely unacknowledged difficulties of keeping a weblog is properly timing your posts: on the one hand, you can only post when you have time, and, on the other hand, a links and commentary weblog must be timely. And by timely, I mean both new and under-blogged; you have to catch a link before it's gone mainstream, and that can happen in the span of several hours.

Throw in depression, outside commitments like oversleeping, and blogging starts to require the reflexes of an athlete. Act fast, or lose the inning. You can collect all the interesting links in the world at 5 am, too tired to paste them in MT, but too guilty over all your various forms of unproductivity to stop reading and fall asleep. But when you wake up at 2 PM and all those people doing under-cover blogging at their workplace snagged your bookmarked links in the AM, you realize: the laziness and procastination-tendencies that originally made blogging so appealing don't make you a good blogger. You can't procastinate procastination. Or you can, but it feels mighty shitty knowing you're too lazy or tired to even do your procastination properly. On that note, I'm going to finally start writing my promised review of the now-untimely Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...
Up next, my thoughts on The Passion, Whitney Houston's rehab trip, gay marriage, and The O.C.... Well, at least I got to the most important item on that list.


Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Bogusonia Watch, Day 7 

Yet another Bosusonia-related item has been posted to eBay. Loyal readers may remember that the political endorsement of the Leader of Bogusonia was auctioned on eBay last week, and that Standard Deviance had an exclusive interview with His Honorableness of Bogusonia. Now, a completely separate citizen of Bogusonia has offered up for auction the flag of Bogusonia.

The auction offers this hand-made flag, and will only accept US Dollars for payment, as "No Bogusonia currency will be accepted, because, like their presidential endorsement, it is not worth a hill of beans."

Thanks to His Honorableness for the tip.

Two F-List Celebrities Marry 

Bob Goen, anchor of some trashy entertainment show or something, and Marianne Curan, host of a HGTV Trading-Spaces wanna-be, were wed sometime recently. The ceremony was private, mainly because no one really cares. Curan wore a dress designed by someone we've never heard of, and the ceremony was officiated by some "friend" who isn't famous at all. Bor-ing. This is the second marriage for both parties. Apparently their first marriages didn't bring them enough media attention.

TV Hosts Goen, Curan Marry in L.A. [AP]


Monday, March 22, 2004

Pregnant Women to Serve as Wine Tasters 

Tesco, the british chain supermarket, has decided to use pregnant women as their wine tasters. The supermarket realized that pregnant women have heightened senses of smell and taste, qualities that make for excellent wine tasters. Although drinking wine while pregnant can endanger unborn children, as long as pregnant women do not swallow the wine, their fetuses are in little risk.

In related news, pregnant women are also being used as bloodhounds, as their sense of smell is very keen. While police departments across the country conceded that having pregnant women crawl about smelling for a trail may not be the safest course for their children, as long as the women arch their backs enough that their stomachs do not drag on the ground, the babies should be just fine.

Tesco to employ pregnant wine tasters [Ananova]

Trojan Horse 

No this is not about Troy, this post is about The O.C. There is an article in the New York Times that is a 3 page tribute to my new favorite show. The article explains why I love the show, and why so many people I know refuse to watch it:

So Mr. Schwartz and Ms. Savage cleverly constructed a pilot - the tale of Ryan Atwood, a gentle young hoodlum who finds himself living among the beautiful people of the titular Orange Country - that pushed every glamour-teen button they could think of. "That's why it's got a bonfire on the beach, and `Karate Kid' without the karate, and a fashion show and a big bash with cocaine," he said. At the same time, however, "we felt we had this story that was organic to that world of beaches and sunshine and wealthy people. And really what we hoped we had were these characters that were a little bit funnier and more soulful and different and specific than the kinds you usually see in that genre. They would be the soldiers inside our Trojan horse."

So many people I know won't watch The O.C. for this very reason. As much as you tell them that the characters are smart and witty, they won't believe it because they think it's just a dumb girly soap opera. They're fooled by the Trojan Horse. Maybe they'll listen to the NEW YORK TIMES!

The article profiles the writer of the show, Josh Shwartz, who is the real-life Seth Cohen. Excuse me, Mr. Shwartz, can I marry you? Or at least hang out with you? Or maybe get a signed script or something? I love Seth Cohen. No, make that I love Josh Shwartz.

Addendum: Holy Crap! There's an O.C. Blog!! It's called The Pool House. Must read daily.

'The O.C.' Rewrites the Rules of TV Writing [NYT via FiftyFiveHundred]

Veterans Stadium, Age 33, Demolished 

Veterans Stadium, also known as "The Vet", imploded in its Philadelphia parking lot yesterday at the age of 33. The stadium was best known for its horrid astroturf and for the court located beneath the stands handle the unruly fans. Veterans Stadium served as a home for both the Philadelphia Phillies and the Philadelphia Eagles. Throughout the NFL, the Vet's horrible astroturf was considered to be a "career-killer" for football players, causing injuries to knees and ankles. The Vet's Section 700, the nosebleed section, was famous for having worst behaving fans (hence the in-stadium court). On one occasion, Matthew Scott, the recipient of a hand transplant, threw out the opening pitch of the 1999 season. He threw the pitch with his transplanted hand and the pitch rolled over home plate. The Phillies fans booed.

Standard Deviance, however, has fond memories of The Vet. I was on hand for the 2001 Eagles season opener versus the St. Louis Rams. There were two Rams fans sitting nearby during that game, and every time they got up to get a beer or a hot dog they were booed and heckled. Good times, good times. SD also attended the 2000 July 4th weekend Phillies game, complete with fireworks over the field. We were allowed to go onto the field and thus I laid on the famous (and truly very hard) astroturf and watched fireworks while listening to "Proud to Be an American". It was a great day.

So, Veterans Stadium, we send you off with the following words:
Fly eagle fly
On your way back to the sky
Let me be the chosen one
And set me free
Veterans Stadium is survived by Lincoln Financial Field and Citizens Bank Park.

Philly's Vets Stadium Reduced to Rubble [AP]
Veterans Stadium [Ballparks of Baseball]
Good Riddance [Washington Times]


Sunday, March 21, 2004

What Have I Done For You Lately 


Saturday, March 20, 2004

Shhh. It's a Secret. 

Madonna and Guy Ritchie are throwing a birthday party for Robbie Williams at Skibo Castle where they had their wedding.
Ananova reports:
Although it was the star's 30th birthday last month, the party at Skibo is supposed to be a surprise.
Supposed to be is right. Now that the geniuses at Ananova have published it, the party certainly won't be a surprise. What is wrong with you people? How are things supposed to remain a surprise if they are posted on the internet? What kind of party-pooping idiot would do something like that?

Castle bash for superstar Robbie [Ananova]


Friday, March 19, 2004


Standard Deviance has exclusive information on the true identity of the Leader of Bogusonia, the seller of one of the foreign leader political endorsements on eBay. His name is John and can be seen in the picture below (blue shirt).

There is a shadow over the Honorable Leader of Bogusonia in this picture to protect his identity. In addition to his country-leading activities, His Honorableness likes to kayak and write eBay ads. He has enjoyed his brief time in the sun but now he must return to the motherland and rule his many subjects.

For further foreign leader candidate endorsement coverage, stay tuned to Standard Deviance.

Related Post:
For Sale: Foreign Leaders

Restaurant Driven Into the Ground By Americans' Ravenous Appetites 

Red Lobster, the restaurant that makes the Olive Garden look classy, has decided to reduce it's all-you-can-eat offers. The restaurant chain introduced an all-you-can-eat crab promotion last year hoping to increase their profits. However, the profit margin on the promotion was practically eliminated due to hungry patrons returning to the buffet for third, fourth, and fifth servings.

So what have we learned from this story? There's all-you-can-eat crab at Red Lobster! Let's go see how much crab we can eat before puking!
Red Lobster to Trim All-You-Can-Eat Deals [AP]

Related Posts:
Chicken or the Egg?

Memo to The People who Kidnapped Me Last Night 

I tried to leave SO many times but you assholes wouldn't let me. Noooo, you kept me out and kept sticking drinks in my hand. I had a white-knuckle ride on the 2-3 this morning and getting my work done without running to the bathroom to puke was a real challenge. I woke up sprawled on my bed with my lights and radio on. I didn't set my alarm clock so it's a miracle I got to work on time. I found my contact lens all dried up on the side of my sink. I had to eat a 4 day old piece of pepperoni pizza this morning to make it to work without passing out.

And why is it every time I go out with you people I end up at some crappy Coyote Ugly bar with country music playing from the jukebox?

What was up with the 7-Eleven in the gas station? I didn't even know there were gas stations in Manhattan. Yeah, let's go have some slim jims. That sounds like a good idea.

Okay, okay, I had fun, but people did I really need to keep drinking? Seriously my liver can't handle it.


Thursday, March 18, 2004

That Lady Sure is Crazy! 

Courtney Love's Schedule Last night:

5:30 pm - The Late Show with David Letterman begins taping.
5:50 pm - Courtney climbs on top of Letterman's desk and flashes him while singing "Danny Boy".
2:30 am - Show at Plaid begins. Courtney throws her mike stand into the audience and hits a 24 year old man in the head. Blood loss ensues. Courtney is arrested.
All in a day's work for a crazy lady.

And for those of you who enjoyed that, you should check out Stereogum's post on Courtney's court appearance. Standard Deviance is telling everyone she sees that they're "Rehired."


Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Look to the Right 

In addition to the new RSS feed, I've added a linkblog. This is an area for links I see that don't quite merit a whole blog entry but are interesting nonetheless. Check it out. If you have any comments or suggestions on the recent site renovations, email me.

Read My Feed 

I know my faithful loyal readers have been muttering to themselves, "Damn, why doesnt Standard Deviance have an RSS Feed?" Well, fret no longer. Here is the long awaited Standard Deviance RSS Feed. Also, if you're shopping for a feed reader, I am a fan of Bloglines. So read away!

Excuse Me While I Kill Myself 

There is an article in The Village Voice this week by Brendan Koerner entitled Generation Debt: The New Economics of Being Young. Let me give you a little taste:
High levels of debt preclude the young from getting the sweetest mortgage deals, and they often end up in the clutches of sub-prime lenders. On average, people who had to borrow their way to a graduate degree are already behind $45,900; median debt for grad students has increased 72 percent since 1997. (Aspiring doctors have it the worst, with average loans of $103,855.) Add to those obligations an investment in a humble bungalow, and you're on the hook for a quarter million or more - not counting interest.

The cumulative effect is that merely keeping one's head above water, rather than getting ahead, has become the top priority for Americans between the ages of 18 and 34. Pursuing the relatively modest dream of doing better than the generation before requires serious capital - up front in the form of tuition and loans, and hidden in the form of lost opportunities. Call it the ambition tax - the money you've got to pony up if you want a college degree and a shot at middle-class bliss. But it's really more of a gamble, as there's no guarantee those tens of thousands of dollars will get you where you want to go.
That's about as much of this article I can read without wanting to shoot myself. It looks like promising my first and second born to those fancy schools was a little bit risky. But I really didn't need an article to tell me that. I can just look at my checkbook.

Is There an Echo in Here? 

Something strange is happening out there:
Item One
As Seen on Standard Deviance:
You're Elected!
Al Sharpton has endorsed John Kerry for President. He has not withdrawn from the race as he plans to continue campaign for delegates in order to shape the party platform. However, Sharpton did note, "I don't know how much time I will have. I plan to be on TV this summer."

In related news, The Apprentice 2 is currently holding auditions. The new season will be taped this summer and air in the fall.
As Seen on Swamp City:
Move Over Clay Aiken
Al Sharpton may have pulled out of the presidential race to support John Kerry's bid for the office, but his campaign is not done yet.... Says Sharpton:

"I don't know how much time I will have. I plan to be on TV this summer."

Though he claims to be looking for a slot as a talk show host or commentator, Sharpton just might be The Next American Idol. He does lack the barely hidden undercurrent of homosexuality that Simon Cowell looks for in male Idols, but Sharpton can sing. And, we've heard that ever since the debut of American Idol, Sharpton has been caught practicing his dance moves and belting Celine Dion when he thinks no one is paying attention.
Item Two.
As Seen on Standard Deviance:
For Sale: Foreign Leaders
John Kerry has come under fire recently for the following comment:
I've met more leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, but boy, they look at you and say, 'You got to win this. You got to beat this guy.'
The Bush administration has demanded that Kerry name the foreign leaders who made these comments. Kerry has refused, arguing that if he were to reveal the names he would jeopardize any further conversations with the sources.

Luckily, Senator Kerry does not need to wrestle with this ethical conundrum anymore. There are two foreign leaders that are more than willing to voice their support for sale right now on eBay . One foreign leader, being auctioned by the seller fake foreign leader, promotes himself with the slogan "Caught in a Presidential race lie? I'll cover for you!" The other leader purports himself to be the leader of a European principality called Bogusonia...
As Seen on Wonkette:
Political Auctions on eBay
At eBay, "Imaginary Foreign Leader Endorsement" for sale. Current high bid: $14,999.00 (kim_jong_ii).

If you want to make a current president jealous, look better in front of your political buddies who have real foreign relations experience, or if you are just a liar who got called out on your bogus campaign lies, this is the auction for you!!! As the imaginary leader of a foreign nation who supports your candidacy, I’ll play along with you with whatever you want me to say...
Item 3.
As Seen in Standard Deviance Comments:
Yes, it's true everyone. Not only does my mother read my blog but she called me up last night to complain that it wasn't funny (too many posts about blogging). She said that if I didn't post something funny soon my loyal readers,including her, were going to stop reading. She said she was informing me "for my own good". She also then told me that I was out of shape and that I need to go to bed. Hey, Ma, you forgot to mention that my haircut makes me look fat and I live like a slob. There's nothing like the love of a mother.
As Seen on Old Hag:
In her monthly column, editor Lesley Jane Seymour reflects on the April issue's theme: 'In high school I felt like an outsider, 'dieting' to gain weight -- guzzling cans of disgusting weight-gain liquids hoping they might make me look less like a boy. So the truth is, no one escapes 'the body issue.'' In other words: 'While, in earlier issues, we've tried to suppress only fat women's self-esteem, we now recognize the economical short-sightedness of our strategy. This issue proves no body type is immune to criticism, because Marie Claire believes in equality; fat or thin, you're all in dire need of doubt and self-improvement possibilities.'

And Marie Claire isn't only introducing new body types to be ashamed of. It's also introducing new body parts. For ex., on p. 222: 'If your nipples are pale, make them rosier with a lip and cheek stain.' And, body parts may be wrong in ways you haven't previously considered. Page 78: 'Does your hair make you look fat?'
We want to hire Chica just to hang around in our brain.
Standard Deviance is certainly not accusing any of these bloggers of copy-catting but the similarities are eerie. This is either an example of great minds thinking alike or a sign that SD needs to get more original. I'll assume its the former. Keep up the good work, ladies.

Elephants Take Manhattan! 

Last night the animals from the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Baily Circus walked through the Midtown Tunnel to get to Madison Square Garden where they will performing for the next month. Since there is no freight train depot in Manhattan the animals have to detrain in Queens and walk the rest of the way. Unfortunately Standard Deviance only found out about this amazing sight yesterday (as she is still somewhat new to the city), thus she was not in attendance, but thankfully many other bloggers were. The photo above is from Unrelated News [via BlueJake]. Next year SD will be the first person waiting outside the Midtown Tunnel.

More pictures:


Tuesday, March 16, 2004

For Sale: Foreign Leaders 

John Kerry has come under fire recently for the following comment:
I've met more leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, but boy, they look at you and say, 'You got to win this. You got to beat this guy.'
The Bush administration has demanded that Kerry name the foreign leaders who made these comments. Kerry has refused, arguing that if he were to reveal the names he would jeopardize any further conversations with the sources.

Luckily, Senator Kerry does not need to wrestle with this ethical conundrum anymore. There are two foreign leaders that are more than willing to voice their support for sale right now on eBay . One foreign leader, being auctioned by the seller fake foreign leader, promotes himself with the slogan "Caught in a Presidential race lie? I'll cover for you!" The other leader purports himself to be the leader of a European principality called Bogusonia.

Man, who are these losers who spend all their free time creating humorous internet content for no apparent reason except to amuse themselves? What freaks.

Bush challenges Kerry comments [CNN]

You're Elected! 

Al Sharpton has endorsed John Kerry for President. He has not withdrawn from the race as he plans to continue campaign for delegates in order to shape the party platform. However, Sharpton did note, "I don't know how much time I will have. I plan to be on TV this summer."

In related news, The Apprentice 2 is currently holding auditions. The new season will be taped this summer and air in the fall.


Monday, March 15, 2004

That Just Frosts My Cookies 

Parents of Girl Scouts across the country are now turning to eBay to sell the famous Girl Scout cookies in an effort to boost their child's sales. Standard Deviance remembers quite well how many children managed to have higher cookie sales by having their parents bring the order forms into work. However, Standard Deviance's parents were self-employed, so little SD brownie went door to door selling the cookies while wearing the entire brownie uniform (including the orange tassels on the socks).

After all that hard work, Standard Deviance would proudly bring her order form into her troop meeting only to find that Carrie's dad had brought her order form to work with him at the power plant and she sold the most boxes in the troop, thus winning a mini cassette player. And now Carrie's parents can sell her cookies on eBay too? What ever happened to knee-high socks and door-to-door selling? Whatever happened to the obese lady down the street yelling at you for taunting her with your cookies? What is the world coming to?

Crave Thin Mints? Girl Scout Cookies Available on eBay [NYT]

Get Your Drink On 

Best Week Ever, pop-culture blog turned TV show, covered the recent growth of energy drinks sold by hip-hop stars . Ice-T was on hand to voice his opinion on the Law & Order vs. CSI Debate ("Who's the black guy on CSI?" silence "That's what I thought.") and to promote his own energy drink, Liquid Ice. In his commentary on Liquid Ice, Ice-T coined possibly the greatest marketing line ever created:
It will make you bone your wife like you just got back from twenty in the pen.
As of now, Liquid Ice's slogan is "If you're gonna play the game you're going to need the energy." Ice-T, take my advice: Use the "twenty in the pen" slogan. Sure, mothers across the country will say you are tainting their children by glorifying jail and sex in the same sentence, but remember Cop Killer? Riling up the conservatives is what you do best. Change the slogan!

Jazz Hands 

To celebrate the upset victory of Spain's Socialist Party, supporters flash their Spirit Fingers.

Following Attacks, Spain's Governing Party Is Beaten [NYT]


Saturday, March 13, 2004

What Have I Done for You Lately 

DangerMouse Explains How It's Done 

DJ Dangermouse, of Grey Album fame, gave an interview to MTV News about how exactly the Grey Album was made. He was planning to keep the process under wraps but he did not enjoy that throngs of wanna-be djs out there thought making the Grey Album was as easy as just laying a Jay-Z track over a Beatles song. Here's what he said about creating 99 Problems, which includes riffs from Helter Skelter:
"My whole thing with this was I didn't want to mess up the Beatles song either," he said. "I don't want to disrespect the Beatles. A lot of people thought it was sacrilege in the first place. I knew that would be something, but I didn't know it was going to be [distributed] on a wide scale. I knew my friends wouldn't think it was sacrilege, so I just made sure it was something I would dig myself."

Standard Deviance's favorite song on the Grey Album is probably Dirt Off Your Shoulder as I've always had a soft spot for Julia, which it samples. This song is definitely a testament to DangerMouses's mixing capabilities, as the final product barely even sounds like Julia anymore but you can still tell that it's Lennon singing back there.

Grey Album Producer Danger Mouse Explains How He Did It [MTV via Eybeam reBlog]

Related Posts:
Why is Standard Deviance Grey?
Black Album + Black Album = Blackest Black Album (and lawsuits galore)


Friday, March 12, 2004

Bullet Points are the New Black 

  • Bunsen has by far the best Apprentice blog entry ever. I knew there was something going on with Carolyn but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
  • In the past Standard Deviance has been known to refer to Gawker Media as the Shannon Doherty of the blogging world, but I would never say that they are bringing on the demise of the universe, as one Jack Shafer did over at Slate this week [via Old Hag]. Just as Shannon Doherty used her Minnesota charm to turn Beverly Hills upside-down, Gawker and Wonkette have added spice and zest to our otherwise boring Burbury-wearing Prada-carrying lives. Would you ever refer to Shannon Doherty as a heaving puke? I rest my case.
  • I'm going to go WAY out on a limb here and say that an aspiring weblog titan is going a little bit overboard when he starts blogs for video game stations that yet to even exist. I think I'm going to start a blog for the Mars Spacestation. I know it may be a while before it exists but I really want to be ahead of the curve.

Cardinal O'Malley is Most Certainly Not Wicked Pissah. 

Opening day at Fenway Park this year falls on a Friday during Lent, to the chagrin of many baseball-loving Boston Catholics. Catholics attending the game have asked for special dispensation from the Archdiocese to eat meat in the form of Fenway Franks, but they have been turned down. In past years the previous Cardinal, Cardinal Law, gave permission for Catholics to eat meat when St. Patrick's Day has fallen on a Friday.

Cardinal O'Malley is new to town, but he should know that Catholicism is Boston's second largest religion only following Baseball. Standard Deviance believes it is a SIN to go to Fenway Park on opening day and not eat a Fenway Frank. It is true, Cardinal Law did not have an illustrious career in the Boston Archdiocese, but at least he understood that there are two things more important in Boston than Lent: Opening Day and St. Patrick's Day. What next, will O'Malley say it is a mortal sin to run guns for the IRA? If he keeps this up he might face the wrath of a Kennedy.

Church Nixes Good Friday Fenway Hot Dogs [AP]
Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Boston


Thursday, March 11, 2004

Are you a size 4? Are you 5'2"? If so, do I have the sale for you! 

INA Designer Resale store is selling the clothes and accessories from Sex and the City. You can get your own piece of SATC memorabilia for anywhere between $20 to $200. All you need to be able to wear one of Carrie's dresses is a credit card and an eating disorder. Unfortunately, while my AmEx is ready and willing, I gave up bulimia last week (damn) and thus I will limit my shopping to shoes and jewelry. Actually, I'm a size 8 and the shoes available only go up to 7 1/2, so I will limit to just accessories. Actually, I bet their necks are a good deal thinner than mine, so necklaces are probably out. Maybe they'll have a nice pin I can buy. Yeah, a pin.



Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Chicken or the Egg? 

New Jersey: The Whack-Me State 

Tourists are flocking to the country's newest rising star, New Jersey, to see the locations where The Sopranos are shot. The award-winning show has spawned tours, tribute websites, and merchandise, all of which provide a boost to New Jersey's economy. After watching the show for 4 seasons and spending a fair amount of time in Jersey, Standard Deviance can certainly see the draw. Just check out these photos:

This abandondend building is Satriale's, the meatmarket/cafe where Tony's crew hangs out. Look at the fine architecture. The brown-beige color of the brick provides an excellent juxtaposition to the metallic silver of the window bars. What a gem.

Next we see the setting of Salvatore 'Big Pussy' Bonpensiero's meetings with the FBI, the meetings that ultimately led to his untimely demise. The landscaping here is truly extraordinary. By placing the wire fence in the middle of the grass, the designers allow for the grass to creep up the wire, creating a center of greenery in an otherwise barren lot. Additionally the red trailer shows the human nature of Jersey. Beautiful site.

Finally, we see the lot behind the Bada Bing, where Ralphie Cifaretto beat his pregnant girlfriend to death. The vinyl siding that can be seen on the building and the neatly stacked red bricks show the practical nature of New Jerseyians, while once again we see that lawn grooming is not their forte. The bleached-out nature of the concrete creates a beautiful texture for blacktop enthusiasts to enjoy.

As we have seen there is truly a plethora of sights to be taken in on a Sopranos tour of New Jersey. Who needs Manhattan when beauty like this can be seen on just the other side of the Hudson? Standard Deviance will be making her way to the PATH station tomorrow to further investigate this beautiful state. I suggest you do the same.

Filming locations for The Sopranos [About.com]
Tourism blossoms in the Garden State, thanks to the Sopranos [MSNBC]


Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Blog Drama: Episode 3a 

Well, it looks like I don't have to fear the Weblogs, Inc./Gawker Media catfight ending anytime soon. Calacanis, who wanted to make peace yesterday, lays a smackdown on Denton today.

As seen in BuzzMachine comments:
Nick plays down the business of blogs for one reason: to pay people less. Trust me, Nick is not doing blogs just for the fun of it, or because he loves the medium. He is hiring people, putting up tons of google ad words, and spending money on expensive logos for a reason: he wants to make money. If he just wanted to do blogs for fun he would post to his personal blog and not be doing highly targeted, highly- profitable (read: porn and gadget) verticals.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with making this into a business. Who wouldn't want to work from home blogging and make a living?! Nick is a great businessman and he is going to be very, very successful and I commend him, even if we have different styles.
Well, if Gawker Media is the Shannon Doherty of the blogosphere, then Weblogs, Inc. is Kelly when she slept with Dylan while Brenda was in France. Play all nicey-nice on your blog and then sneak in a punch in the comments of another blog. I love it.

Related Post:
Blog Drama: Episode 3

People Are Stupid 

A woman in Georgia tried to buy $1,675 worth of WalMart merchandise with a fake $1 million bill.

There are so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to start:
  1. They don't make $1 million bills anymore. Perhaps she should have tried 20s.
  2. Why would anyone who could carry around $1 million go to WalMart? They'd hit up Williams Sonoma or Tiffany's.
  3. Even if you were stupid enough to make a fake $1 million bill, wouldn't you'd like to buy something better than a Charlotte Church CD and some knitting needles? Buy some Blahniks. Dior. iPod. Not some stupid Barbie paper-doll kit!
Police: Woman Tried to Pass Fake $1M Bill [AP]

Blog Drama: Episode 3 

Today's episode of The Blog and the Beautiful again surrounds Gawker, the Shannon Doherty of the blogosphere. Nick Denton, the publisher of Gawker, Wonkette, and Gizmodo is most certainly the king of blogging-for-profit, but Jason Calacanis, the founder of Weblogs, Inc. is slowly inching his way up. He recently snatched Gizmodo's editor, Peter Rojas, to write for Engadget. The drama of all this was played out in a New York Magazine article this week by Alex Mar. Let's see what happened:

Excerpts from New York Magazine (via Buzzmachine):
Gawker's Stalker. Can Jason Calacanis challenge Nick Denton's blog kingdom? Either way, he'll pay for it.

Calacanis-the former Silicon Alley Reporter guru turned "talent advocate"-declares, "You can't say 'Work with me for as little as possible; I'll build a valuable brand you won't have a share in.' Nick wants to won all of it, so his writers are leaving..."

To hear Calacanis tell it, as popular blogs increase in value, investors can afford to commit to their writers. "Daily Candy sold for $3.5 million to $4 million," he explains. "Within five years, the top blogs will become worth as much as $5 million." By having rising-star writers in place, Weblogs, Inc., Would be able to focus on expanding its current lineup of 25 blogs to a whopping 500 by late 2006.

Denton, however, maintains that "no one's going to get rich off blogging any time soon," and defends his revolving-door policy as par for the course. "You pick the right writer, and they eventually leave-just as with mainstream publications," he says. "Blogs have become a terrific way to build a profile and then move on." Presumably, he isn't surprised that ultracatty Gawker.com editor Choire Sicha seems to be distancing himself from the site, now describing himself in print as a writer for the Observer. "I'm in an awkward position," stuttered Sicha.
As Seen on Nick Denton:
Nano wars

I was, as they say back home, royally shafted. That's just like shafted, only worse. For those of you who doesn't follow every navel-gazing twist and turn of the blog world, Jason Calacanis of Weblogs Inc., a rival, poached one of Gawker Media's writers, Pete Rojas of Gizmodo.

Sure, we recovered quickly. Joel Johnson, who was going to write another upcoming site, stepped in. And traffic has rebounded, though those readers may simply be enthralled by the spectacle of an online car crash happening in real time.

But the fact remains that I was caught unawares. I was in Brazil, my mind on other things. Before Pete gave his notice, he and Calacanis already had a slick copycat site -- Engadget -- ready to go. The shafting will be complete, today, with an artfully-placed item in New York Magazine, in which Calacanis boasts of his plans for 500 blogs. Round One to Calacanis. On to Round Two.

Is there any broader meaning to all this? Well, I have just one tentative conclusion. Blogs are likely to be better for readers than for capitalists. While I love the medium, I've always been skeptical about the value of blogs as businesses.

Pete will feverishly work night and day on his new site. We'll bring in guest stars, and spice up Gizmodo. Maybe we'll bid against each other, as if it were 1999 all over again, to become anchor tenant of AOL's tech section. (That was a joke... I hope.)

There's an important consolation. Competition between pro blogs may destroy their potential for profit, but the struggle will be excellent for readers. Gizmodo and Engadget will keep each other alert and honest. They'll compete for scoops. Pete, usually so serious, may even loosen up and try a little humor. Gizmodo will run gadget pinups. We'll all check the Sitemeter traffic stats like coked-up day-traders. It's the beginning of the nano wars: enjoy the show.
As Seen on Weblogs Inc.:
Gawker's Stalker, Rising Blog Kingdoms & the talented Mr. Rojas(part deux)

So, it's been a bit of a crazy day for me with the New York Magazine story (click here for the image), Nick Denton's respones and about three dozen voicemails from folks who want to blog (including a militia-I kid you not).

To be totally honest I'm burnt out on the Denton vs. Calacanis, who won what round, etc. The bottom lineis Nick is going to be wildly successful with his gaggle of blog, and I think WIN and Engadget will be wildly successful. Nothing would please me more then to see Denton get rewarded for all his hard work with Gawker Media, and if he is successful that meands that blogging is legit (as we all know), and that is a good thing for me, Brian and Peter ( and probably you too if you're a blogger).

OK, group hugs everyone - now back to work.
Wait? What the hell? Is Calacanis going to try to bury the hatchet? But what will I use for soap opera drama when The OC isn't on? Keep fighting guys! For me!

Related Posts:
Ooh, Ooh, Blog Drama! Fun!
Blog Drama Gets Even More Funnier


Monday, March 08, 2004

Awww. Local Kids Make it Big 

Standard Deviance's friends over at Night in the Big City were mentioned this morning on Gawker for this post. Good job guys. Maybe next you'll hit print media! Hopefully you won't have to feel the pain of being passed over by the newspaper industry. Most likely you won't have to hear that there is an article covering the top female New York City bloggers and then not be included in the article. Yes, it's true no one interviewed you, but you hope anyway only to be devastated once you see that "Standard Deviance", ehem I mean "Night in the Big City" was not one of the blogs covered......

Oh, what was I saying? Right. Good job guys! Congrats!

Breaking News! Important News Flash! 


Sunday, March 07, 2004

What Have I Done for You Lately 

** Michael Jackson has taken to wearing serial-killer gear to conceal his identity.
** Two fabulous episodes of The Blog and the Beautiful.
** Crappiest Oscar Recap evah.
** Kidnapping World Leaders: The New Black
** Edwards really really really wants to be VP. Really.
** Supersizes are no more. Could this signal the end of gastric bypass?
** Man sues casinos to make them admit that not only can you not win, but if you do you will be thrown out. Amazing. What next, will McDonalds admit their food makes people obese and thus reduce their Supersizes?
** There's nothing more fun than watching someone infringe on Metallica's copyrights.
** A roundup of the female bloggers in New York and Standard Deviance is not included? For shame


Friday, March 05, 2004

New York Notes: No Blog-able News Out There Edition 

Since there seems to be NOTHING funny out there in the universe today, here are interesting tidbits I've seen in New York blogs lately.

Item One: Free Happy Hour Buffet!!
After having 4 margaritas at a happy hour with your coworkers, you may start to feel a bit famished(and nauseous). No need to fret if you are partaking in a happy hour with a free buffet. According to Amy's New York Notebook, SouthwestNY at the World Financial Center offers a free happy-hour buffet on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Given that this is very close to SD's place of employment and that margaritas are the official drink of this blog, if you drop by SouthwestNY someday next week you may find your favorite bloggette passed out in her guacamole.

Item Two:Old Subway Cars
The MTA is celebrating it's 100 anniversary, and Gothamist has all the juicy details, the most important of which is that vintage subway cars will be traveling from Jay Street-Borough Hall to Columbus Circle. Not only are wicker seats cool, but Jay Street is super close to SD headquarters. Who knew riding the smelly subway could be so fun.

Item Three: People Like to Apartment Hunt?
According to Ash over at NITBC, people ask him to show the empty room in his apartment with no intention of renting. I remember when I had to find my apartment, and it wasn't exactly a pleasant process. I doubt I would look for an apartment unless I absolutely had to. Maybe I should go looking at apartments I'm not going to rent just for fun. Do you think Citi-Habitats will believe that I could rent a penthouse?


Thursday, March 04, 2004

Where's My Close Up? 

There was a much blogged about article in the Daily News today about the top female bloggers in New York. Standard Deviance is quite confused as to how our resident female blog super-star and founding editor, Ellen, has been overlooked as part of this coverage. Granted, the blog's only been up since December and only has three loyal readers, one of whom is Ellen's mother, but surely the reverberations of the posts written here are felt throughout the entire blogosphere. Thus Standard Deviance is happy to present our supplement to the Daily News Article, I am Woman, Hear Me Blog.

Ellen "Standard Deviance", Unsung Hero
Started Blogging: In the womb really, but in internet form December 2003.
Day Job: International Woman of Mystery, Friendly's Waitress, and Markets Analyst (and she cooks too!)

A bona fide Gen A Friendster, Ellen describes Standard Deviance as "An old schoolmate who is often drunk, speaks unintelligibly, and occasionally falls asleep on the keyboard." Ellen, 13, who is originally a Masshole, argues that she is debating world peace, along with Green Peace and Donald Trump's hair piece. Ellen has recently been approached by several publishers to turn Standard Deviance into a book, however she politely declined, wanting to truly dedicate herself to her career at Friendly's. Through her blog, Ellen has been able to find a man, a job, a beautiful apartment overlooking Central Park, and inner peace. She proudly adds "I am one of the few French-Canadian bloggers out there," noting that she is part French-Canadian, with her father's mother's mother hailing from that great Canadian province of Quebec. Truly, Ellen of "Standard Deviance" is the future of femi-blogging in our fair city.

Other NYC female bloggers to read (although after reading SD, I don't know why you'd want to):
Jen at Gothamist
Meg at Megnut
Blaise at Bazima
Amy at Amy's New York Notebook
Megan at Jane Galt
Maud Newton
Lindsay at Lindsayism
Elizabeth at The Kicker

Black Album + Black Album = Blackest Black Album (and lawsuits galore) 

Loyal readers may remember Standard Deviance's praise for the Grey Album, DJ Dangermouse's mixing of Jay-Z's Black Album and The Beatles' White Album. Grey Tuesday caused quite a ruckus, receiving major news coverage and several cease and desist letters from EMI. Well, if you thought that was something, wait until you see the legal gymnastics once Napster-hating money-loving copyright-owning Metallica finds out that DJ Spooky has mixed Jay-Z's Black Album with Metallica's Black Album.

SD downloaded a preview of it, and while it sounds kinda cool, it's not as complexly mixed as the Grey Album. With the Grey Album, except for the intro or the exit, it is often difficult to tell which White Album song the new track is sampling. With this new mix it is fairly easy to tell which Metallica song he's sampling from, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. And Standard Deviance loves anything that will make Lars' head explode. Let the litigation begin!



Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Money Money Money 

A Los Angeles lawyer has sued MGM Mirage for banning him from their casinos. MGM barred him because they believe he was counting cards. He describes himself as "better than average blackjack player," and says while he doesn't count cards, "You don't even need to count cards. There are some obvious runs ... and it's patently obvious that there is nothing wrong with being able to figure that out." Franseschi wants MGM to label their advertising in California with the disclaimer "It is the policy and practice of MGM Mirage particularly to target skillful and/or winning players and bar such persons from gaming at our properties; only losing players and/or unskillful players ... are not subject to being targeted to be barred from MGM Mirage casino properties."

Standard Deviance, being a frequenter of Atlantic City and a so-so blackjack player, loved the book Bringing Down the House which detailed the winnings and losings of the MIT card counting team. Given that most "skillful" blackjack players are eventually banned for card counting, which by the way is not illegal, it would be interesting to see what changes might take place were Mr. Franseschi to win his suit. Certainly the casinos don't have to give their money away, but the number of people out there who can count cards is small and is certainly outweighed by all the fools coming over from Japan and betting $1000 on craps. Anyway, most card counters days are numbered given casinos are starting to use automatic shufflers after every hand.

In Related News, Bookies Stop Taking Bets on Life on Mars [AP]


McSupersizes to be phased out-- Say goodbye to those super-sized fries -- McDonald's is slimming down its menu. [CNN]


Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Edwards-Speak Translated 

From Edward's quasi-concession speech in Georgia.

Edwards-Speak: I also want to take a moment and congratulate my friend Senator John Kerry. He's run a strong, powerful campaign.


Edwards-Speak:He's been a extraordinary advocate for causes that all of us believe in. More jobs, better healthcare, a cleaner environment, a safer world. These are the causes of our party, these are the causes of our country, These are the causes we will prevail on come November, you and I together.

Translation: You know how you kept asking yourself how we were different? Well, we're not. That's why we should be on the same ticket. PICK ME PICK ME!

Edwards-Speak: And you know, it wasn't very long ago that the pundits and the pollsters were saying that come Super Tuesday there wouldn't even be anyone named John competing for the nomination. Well, the truth is John Kerry and John Edwards have both proven those pundits and pollsters wrong.

Translation: See, we have the same name. It's destiny. And I said your name first. I understand that I'm subservient. PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME!

CBS News

Related Posts:
They Laugh Alike, They Walk Alike, At Times They Even Talk Alike

Blog Drama Gets Even More Funnier 

Remember yesterday's episode of The Blog and the Beautiful? Well, after the folks at Gawker jumped to the conclusion that Elizabeth Spiers had been sacked because The Kicker's site was down, now Gawker's server is crashing.

As Seen on Choire Sicha:
Enjoy the Schadenfreude
Yes, the Vast Gawker Media Empire is having a brief server hiccup this morning. Should be fixed shortly. In any event, I was too busy voting for Al Sharpton in the primaries to post anything.
Does anyone think that perhaps one Ms. Spiers hacked into Gawker HQ and brought down their servers herself? Tune in tomorrow for our next episode of The Blog and the Beautiful.

Kidnapping World Leaders: The New Black 


Monday, March 01, 2004

Oscar Recap...A Day Late and a Dollar Short 

Oscars by the Minute (or by the short catnap)

8:36 : What the hell is up with Benicio Del Toro's hair? It looks like he's wearing a bad wig.

9:00 : Wild Thing plays while Angelina Jolie walks on the stage. She seems amused. Probably she is thinking "Oh these simple Americans don't understand my deepness, especially since I adopted a Cambodian child and I lazered Billy Bob off of my arm."

9:10 : Renee looks SO much better with her Bridget weight
9:20 : Renee was justified in her Zellweging, although her thanking of her fellow nominees is very fake.
9:37 : The director of Harvey Krumpet gets hoots and cheers because he thanked his boyfriend in his acceptance speech. Imagine if he had mentioned San Francisco in the same sentence. The audience may have given him a standing ovation.

9:38 : What the hell is up with Liv Tyler's hair? Flock of Seagulls much?
10:02 : Jim Carrey shaved his head. Best not to fight the receding hair line.
11:02 : This Lord of the Rings winning streak is getting out of control.
11:17 : Best song too! Will they ever lose!

11:23 : Uma Thurman looks like someone emptied a Kleenex box and scotch taped the kleenex around her. Not sure whether I love it or hate it.
12:00 : Sean Penn wins best actor and actually manages to get through his acceptance speech without saying anything too political or controversial. Shocking
12:00:50: The look on Bill Murray's face is hysterical. Poor man. He should have won, but it's very Sean Penn-esque of him not to even try to hide his disgust.
2:30 am : ugh, what happened, is that drool on my couch? Who won best picture? whatever. zzzzzz.

**Standard Deviance apologizes for the lameness of this post, but as many others have observed, the Oscars were bor-ing this year. I can only do what I can do.

Ooh, Ooh, Blog Drama! Fun! 

Elizabeth Spiers: Former editor of Gawker (huge in the blog world), current writer at New York Magazine and author of said magazine's blog, The Kicker.
Choire Sicha: Gawker's current editor
Jen Chung: Gothamist's writer/editor
Nick Denton: Gawker's publisher
Felix Salmon: Writer for Memefirst

Let the Drama begin!

As seen on Gawker:
The Death of The Kicker
The absence of certain irregularly-updated web-only content is the first visible sign of the new regime of Adam Moss over at New York mag. Ah, The Kicker: the mag's weblog written by Elizabeth Spiers, Gawker editrix emeritus, seems to be no more. We imagine that now Elizabeth floats in the digital matrix of New York like a virus, looking for editorial sections to destroy using the evil programming with which we filled her cyborg head. Should we set her on detonate and send her towards Amy Sohn's cubicle?
As Seen on Gothamist:
The Kicker Kicks It
Gawker notes that The Kicker is no more over at New York magazine's website, NYMetro.com. Instead when you click on The Kicker's URL, you are asked to rate restaurants, bars, and stores. Perhaps due to the new Era of Moss at New York, it's a sign that blogs, while useful and sometimes powerful, are maybe not as critical as once thought for traditional newspapers' and magazines' websites. Another issue was the fact that Elizabeth Spiers didn't post that often; she was kept busy, as she was hired as a writer, not just a blogger, working on stories. Blogs do keep debates healthy and lively, so it'll be interesting to see how other publications try to meet make blogs work (if they even try) within their scopes.
Fittingly, the cover story for New York is Are You Bipolar?
As Seen on Memefirst:
The Kicker, RIP
I'm late to this game: both Gawker and Gothamist have noted that if you try to visit The Kicker, you'll find instead a page called "Rate It!". But the redirecting is actually quite complicated: if you try to visit recent individual entries from The Kicker (as featured in its RSS feed), you'll wind up being asked to rate different stores. Here's the list:

Original headline Redirects to:
Dear Graydon David Yurman
Haitian Revolution: Limited Upside Potential David Saity Jewelry
Jayson Blair Conversation Starters Dave's Army & Navy Store

Even in the world of blog redirects, it would seem, Graydon Carter is infinitely classier than Jayson Blair. Hell, Haitian revolutionaries are infinitely classier than Jayson Blair.
As seen on Elizabeth Spiers:
Rumors of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Dear people who know me personally, have my cell phone number and my email address (some of whom have even referred to themselves as my friends) yet apparently still can't be bothered to contact me for verification because it would ruin the scoop on your blogs**:

New York Metro experienced technical difficulties this weekend and the primary URL for The Kicker is not resolving properly (nor are several of the other pages.)

The Kicker has not been shut down.

That's not to say that The Kicker won't be shut down. It may; it may not. Today was Adam Moss's first day and we haven't talked about it yet.

** I'll let Felix and Gothamist off the hook a bit here, because they were re-reporting, but Choire and Nick have no excuse...
Fight! Fight! There's nothing Standard Deviance loves more than blog drama.

How To Remain Anonymous Yet Still Scare Little Children 

Michael Jackson's new way to travel incognito while skiing in Colorado is to wear a ski mask. All the time. Even indoors. Jackson went into a Wal-Mart wearing the ski mask and the employees were so freaked out they called the cops.

If Jacko is trying to stay undercover, here is another disguise he can try:


Yeah, I'm Stupid. 

So to follow great blogger traditions, Standard Deviance took minute-by-minute notes last night on the Oscars in order to bless you all with my amazing insights. Of course being the disorganized blogger that I am, I left my notes at home and thus cannot transfer my lovely observations into a post. Terribly sorry. If it doesn't seem too irrelevant by tonight, I will post my notes when I get home. In the meantime I leave you with these thoughts:
  1. Renee totally was justified in her Zellweging given her win last night, but if we remember what she said just a few weeks ago, her thanking of her fellow nominees was totally fake.
  2. She looks way better with her Bridget weight.
  3. How funny was Bill Murray's response? He didn't even try to cover his disappointment.
  4. Shocker of the evening: Sean Penn didn't yell at the audience and kept political comments to a minimum.
For further comments, please see Uncle Grambo's thorough coverage at Whatevs.

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