Mocking the World since 2003

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Is There an Echo in Here? 

Something strange is happening out there:
Item One
As Seen on Standard Deviance:
You're Elected!
Al Sharpton has endorsed John Kerry for President. He has not withdrawn from the race as he plans to continue campaign for delegates in order to shape the party platform. However, Sharpton did note, "I don't know how much time I will have. I plan to be on TV this summer."

In related news, The Apprentice 2 is currently holding auditions. The new season will be taped this summer and air in the fall.
As Seen on Swamp City:
Move Over Clay Aiken
Al Sharpton may have pulled out of the presidential race to support John Kerry's bid for the office, but his campaign is not done yet.... Says Sharpton:

"I don't know how much time I will have. I plan to be on TV this summer."

Though he claims to be looking for a slot as a talk show host or commentator, Sharpton just might be The Next American Idol. He does lack the barely hidden undercurrent of homosexuality that Simon Cowell looks for in male Idols, but Sharpton can sing. And, we've heard that ever since the debut of American Idol, Sharpton has been caught practicing his dance moves and belting Celine Dion when he thinks no one is paying attention.
Item Two.
As Seen on Standard Deviance:
For Sale: Foreign Leaders
John Kerry has come under fire recently for the following comment:
I've met more leaders who can't go out and say this publicly, but boy, they look at you and say, 'You got to win this. You got to beat this guy.'
The Bush administration has demanded that Kerry name the foreign leaders who made these comments. Kerry has refused, arguing that if he were to reveal the names he would jeopardize any further conversations with the sources.

Luckily, Senator Kerry does not need to wrestle with this ethical conundrum anymore. There are two foreign leaders that are more than willing to voice their support for sale right now on eBay . One foreign leader, being auctioned by the seller fake foreign leader, promotes himself with the slogan "Caught in a Presidential race lie? I'll cover for you!" The other leader purports himself to be the leader of a European principality called Bogusonia...
As Seen on Wonkette:
Political Auctions on eBay
At eBay, "Imaginary Foreign Leader Endorsement" for sale. Current high bid: $14,999.00 (kim_jong_ii).

If you want to make a current president jealous, look better in front of your political buddies who have real foreign relations experience, or if you are just a liar who got called out on your bogus campaign lies, this is the auction for you!!! As the imaginary leader of a foreign nation who supports your candidacy, I’ll play along with you with whatever you want me to say...
Item 3.
As Seen in Standard Deviance Comments:
Yes, it's true everyone. Not only does my mother read my blog but she called me up last night to complain that it wasn't funny (too many posts about blogging). She said that if I didn't post something funny soon my loyal readers,including her, were going to stop reading. She said she was informing me "for my own good". She also then told me that I was out of shape and that I need to go to bed. Hey, Ma, you forgot to mention that my haircut makes me look fat and I live like a slob. There's nothing like the love of a mother.
As Seen on Old Hag:
In her monthly column, editor Lesley Jane Seymour reflects on the April issue's theme: 'In high school I felt like an outsider, 'dieting' to gain weight -- guzzling cans of disgusting weight-gain liquids hoping they might make me look less like a boy. So the truth is, no one escapes 'the body issue.'' In other words: 'While, in earlier issues, we've tried to suppress only fat women's self-esteem, we now recognize the economical short-sightedness of our strategy. This issue proves no body type is immune to criticism, because Marie Claire believes in equality; fat or thin, you're all in dire need of doubt and self-improvement possibilities.'

And Marie Claire isn't only introducing new body types to be ashamed of. It's also introducing new body parts. For ex., on p. 222: 'If your nipples are pale, make them rosier with a lip and cheek stain.' And, body parts may be wrong in ways you haven't previously considered. Page 78: 'Does your hair make you look fat?'
We want to hire Chica just to hang around in our brain.
Standard Deviance is certainly not accusing any of these bloggers of copy-catting but the similarities are eerie. This is either an example of great minds thinking alike or a sign that SD needs to get more original. I'll assume its the former. Keep up the good work, ladies.

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