Mocking the World since 2003

Friday, March 19, 2004

Memo to The People who Kidnapped Me Last Night 

I tried to leave SO many times but you assholes wouldn't let me. Noooo, you kept me out and kept sticking drinks in my hand. I had a white-knuckle ride on the 2-3 this morning and getting my work done without running to the bathroom to puke was a real challenge. I woke up sprawled on my bed with my lights and radio on. I didn't set my alarm clock so it's a miracle I got to work on time. I found my contact lens all dried up on the side of my sink. I had to eat a 4 day old piece of pepperoni pizza this morning to make it to work without passing out.

And why is it every time I go out with you people I end up at some crappy Coyote Ugly bar with country music playing from the jukebox?

What was up with the 7-Eleven in the gas station? I didn't even know there were gas stations in Manhattan. Yeah, let's go have some slim jims. That sounds like a good idea.

Okay, okay, I had fun, but people did I really need to keep drinking? Seriously my liver can't handle it.

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