Mocking the World since 2003

Monday, March 01, 2004

Oscar Recap...A Day Late and a Dollar Short 

Oscars by the Minute (or by the short catnap)

8:36 : What the hell is up with Benicio Del Toro's hair? It looks like he's wearing a bad wig.

9:00 : Wild Thing plays while Angelina Jolie walks on the stage. She seems amused. Probably she is thinking "Oh these simple Americans don't understand my deepness, especially since I adopted a Cambodian child and I lazered Billy Bob off of my arm."

9:10 : Renee looks SO much better with her Bridget weight
9:20 : Renee was justified in her Zellweging, although her thanking of her fellow nominees is very fake.
9:37 : The director of Harvey Krumpet gets hoots and cheers because he thanked his boyfriend in his acceptance speech. Imagine if he had mentioned San Francisco in the same sentence. The audience may have given him a standing ovation.

9:38 : What the hell is up with Liv Tyler's hair? Flock of Seagulls much?
10:02 : Jim Carrey shaved his head. Best not to fight the receding hair line.
11:02 : This Lord of the Rings winning streak is getting out of control.
11:17 : Best song too! Will they ever lose!

11:23 : Uma Thurman looks like someone emptied a Kleenex box and scotch taped the kleenex around her. Not sure whether I love it or hate it.
12:00 : Sean Penn wins best actor and actually manages to get through his acceptance speech without saying anything too political or controversial. Shocking
12:00:50: The look on Bill Murray's face is hysterical. Poor man. He should have won, but it's very Sean Penn-esque of him not to even try to hide his disgust.
2:30 am : ugh, what happened, is that drool on my couch? Who won best picture? whatever. zzzzzz.

**Standard Deviance apologizes for the lameness of this post, but as many others have observed, the Oscars were bor-ing this year. I can only do what I can do.

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