Mocking the World since 2003

Monday, April 19, 2004

DVDs Your Way 

WalMart and KMart are introducing new DVD players in their stores that edit offensive content out of movies. These players use Clearplay technology, which offers viewers different filters with which they can remove sex, violence, foul language, or any combination of the three from movies. Hollywood is objecting to the use of this technology as it alters the artistic design of their films.

In related news, another DVD filter has been released by a company called Openview. This filter leaves all explicit scenes intact and actually adds sex and gratuitous violence to your movie of choice. Viewers can now experience Mona Lisa Smile complete with a bloody knife-fight on Hungar Meadow and the Sound of Music with scenes of Fraeulein Maria and Captain von Trapp copulating in the Austrian hills. Although Hollywood executives have again voiced their disapproval for this filter, 16 year-old boys throughout the nation are campaigning fervently for the distribution of this technology.

New DVD Players Can Filter Movie Content [AP]

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