Mocking the World since 2003

Friday, April 16, 2004

Friday Morning Updates 

You could call this news. You'd probably be wrong, though.
  • A male porn star contracted HIV while in Brazil, causing the porn industry to halt all filmings until all of his recent partners have been tested. Many doctors have argued that the lesson learned here is to always be protected, but I beg to differ: the lesson here is Brazilians are dirty. Never mind that whole safe sex garbage and you-can't-see-HIV b.s. Obviously, the key to a STD free existence is to stay away from South Americans. Men out there planning their bachelor parties in Rio, I suggest you relocate. [AP]
  • Courtney Love appeared in a Los Angeles court yesterday to face drug possession charges. After the judge told her when she was next required in court, she said "We'll see if I can make it. 'Bye Judge Fox. Have a good day." She then commented that it would be very difficult to pencil the judge in, but she might be able to appear in court between her pedicure and her meeting with her dealer.* [AP]
  • According to PlayerAppreciate.com, my pimp name is Reverend Doctor Ellen Sneed. I suppose that would explain the throngs of people around me simultaneously collapsing after "Seeing Jesus" and then requiring immediate medical care.[via The Blueprint]
*That last sentence is a joke. I understand given Ms. Love's erratic behavior, you might be confused.

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