Mocking the World since 2003

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Standard Deviance Answers Your Questions 

Standard Deviance has received several site hits lately by way of search engines. These searches have contained some interesting search terms, most in form of a question. We here at Standard Deviance are quite concerned that these searchers came to SD but did not get their questions answered. Thus we present you with Standard Deviance Answers Your Questions.

Search Terms:Statutory Rape California Older Woman
Assumed Question: What is the age of consent in California, particularly in cases where the woman is older?
Answer: The age of consent in California is 18. Thus if someone 18 or older has sex with someone under 18, they have committed statutory rape. It makes no difference whether it is the woman or the man who is older. Therefore, Mrs. Robinson (or, should we say, Julie Cooper), if you are 18 or older and your love interest is under the age of 18, watch out. It's bad enough to sleep with your daughter's boyfriend, nevermind getting arrested for it. [Ageofconsent.com]

Search Terms: Mary-Kate Ashley Olsen Shoe Size
Assumed Question: What are Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen's shoe sizes?
Answer: The Olsen Twins (or Mary-Kate and Ashley, as they prefer to be called) both wear shoe size 5 1/2. However, they aren't as identical as you would think: Mary-Kate is 5'6" while Ashley is 5'3", which is ironic because Ashley is two minutes older. How funny! Also, both twins are under age 18, so please see entry above regarding the legality of pursuing your foot fetish. [Alloy]

Search Terms: Oral Sex Rumors and Rod Stewart
Assumed Question: Is it true that after collapsing at a post-concert party, Rod Stewart was rushed to an emergency room, where doctors pumped a pint of semen out of his stomach?
Answer: No, this is an urban legend. This particular legend has been circulating for many many years. This particular accusation has been directed towards Rod Stewart, Elton John, Mick Jagger, Jon Bon Jovi, and numerous other male and female pop stars. The legend is often accompanied with the exact amount of semen that was supposedly in the stomach "7 ounces, 1 gallon, 10 gallons", although these amounts are far too large for the human stomach. However this still doesn't explain how Rod's hair ended up so spiked. It looks as if someone has been guiding his head by pulling his hair. Coincidence? We think not. [Snopes]

Search Terms:Big Pussy Lips
Question I'll Answer: Why Does Big Pussy have such big lips?
Answer: We don't know why, but he does, doesn't he?

Maybe they're swollen from all that jabbering he did with the FBI. Loose lips sink ships, right Pussy?

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