Mocking the World since 2003

Thursday, June 03, 2004

The End of the World is Upon Us 

Don't believe me? Look at the evidence:
  1. New Jersey has banned the hosting of "Ladies Night" at bars. Seriously. David R. Gillepse (who, after this, will never ever get laid again) filed suit against the Coastline club in Cherry Hill claiming they were discriminating against men by using gender-based promotions. The director of the state Division of Civil Rights ruled in favor of Gillepse, and thus ladies night is now banned across New Jersey. Not to fret: there is still much else to do in that glorious state.
  2. Soho House has decided not to renew Choire Sicha's membership. This is perhaps the best thing that has happened to Mr. Sicha since he was labeled a "humorless obnoxious prick" by NY Press. But how will I slag my way into House de Soho now?
  3. Child stars are getting arrested for drunk driving. Both Andrew Keaton (Family Ties) and Brad Taylor(Home Improvement) were pulled over for drunk driving this week. These two were driving around their respective boring home towns with their boring townie friends. Remember child stars of yore? The little dumplings would hang out with Michael Jackson and his monkey (pun intended) and they would pass out in Times Square from doing too much coke. What good entertainment that was, not like these kids now hanging out in Boulder, of all places. Man, I miss those days.
  4. And finally, it appears the kids at NITBC are too tired to party. The world as we know it is over. If you're looking for me I'll be sitting on the top of the Statue of Liberty waiting for the next ice age.

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